KaBloink: Lost Edition
by PirateKnightoftheRings
Summary: Our Losties have stepped into a new world. The world of game shows, where anything can happen.
1. Round One: Part One

Ok so my friends and I have been making these skits with this games show we made up called KaBloink, and I've decided to make a fanfic of it with Lost. So here is my very first comedy fic in the form of a games show. I hope you enjoy it.

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KaBloink: Lost Edition

VO: Welcome to the special Lost Edition of KaBloink!! Here are our contestants! Dr. Jack Shepard, Katherine Anne Austen, James Ford, John Locke, Benjamin Linus, Dr. Juliet Burke, Sun Kwon, Jin Kwon, Sayid Jarrah, Hugo Reyes, Claire Littleton, Charlie Pace, Shannon Rutherford, and Boone Carlyle.

*They file out*

VO cnt'd: And now, here's our host, Jacob!

Jacob: Thank you, thank you. As you probably don't know, KaBloink is a game show where I ask the contestants a series of questions followed by a task. At the end of each round, the person or group with the least points will be voted off. For the first six rounds, our contestants will be paired up. Lets pick partners now. Boone, who would you like to be your partner?

Boone: Shannon! I call Shannon before HE *glares at Sayid* can get her.

Shannon: *sigh*

Jacob: Jin?

Jin: Sun!

Sun: Yay!

Jacob: Charlie?

Charlie: Claire?

Claire: As long as you'll take my BeEhHBeEyY!!

Jacob: How 'bout you Chosen one?

Locke: I'll take Ben!

Ben: But I wanted Juliet!! *Pout*

Jacob: Katherine?

Kate: It's Kate. Umm, umm,

*Jack and Sawyer stare at her intently*

Kate cnt'd: uhhh, STOP STARING AT ME!! Pass?

Jacob: Ok, I guess you can pass. James?

Sawyer: It's Sawyer!

Jacob: OK, Sawyer, who's your pick?

Sawyer: C'mere Freckles!

Kate: *shrugs*

Jacob: Jack?

Jack: I suppose I'll take Juliet.

Juliet: Wow Jack, thanks for making me feel so loved.

Jack: *nods sincerely* No problem.

All: *roll their eyes*

Jacob: Anyways, that means Sayid is left with Hugo.

Sayid: OK.

Hurley: Cool dude!

Jacob: Before we start, each group must come up with a name. Jack and Juliet?

Jack: We're the Doctor's Union.

Jacob: Kate and Sawyer?

Kate and Sawyer: We're the Criminals

Jacob: Locke and Ben?

Locke: We are the Worshippers of Jacob, your honor.

Ben: Wait a minute. I would have agreed to that earlier, but now? Die, Jacob, die, die, die!!

Jacob: Worshippers of Jacob it is. Jin and Sun?

Jin: *Korean*

Sun: He said we're the Not all Marriages go Wrong team.

Jacob: Sayid and Hurley?

Sayid: We're the Dudes. Not my idea.

Jacob: I see. Claire and Charlie?

Claire: We're the Baby Lovers.

Charlie: I never agreed to that name!

Claire: Too bad.

Jacob: Ok, how about you, Boone and Shannon?

Boone: We're the Union of the Deceased . . . or The Love of Siblings. We couldn't decide.

Jacob: Now that we have everyone's names, we will start with the first part of round one. I will ask everybody a question, and each group must come up with an answer. I will award 50 points to the answer I think is best, 30 points to the answer I think is second best, and 10 points to the answer I think is third best. Here's this round's question. If you could bring one thing to a deserted island, what would you bring? Doctor's Union?

*Jack and Juliet confer*

*Jack and Juliet confer some more*

Jack: We've have concluded that it would be most useful to bring a hospital to a deserted island.

Jacob: Ok, Criminals?

*Kate and Sawyer look at each other without speaking before turning to Jacob*

Kate and Sawyer: A gun.

Jacob: Alright. Worshippers of Jacob?

Ben: We would bring you, Jacob.

Jacob: Well, I'm flattered.

Ben (Under his breath): To kill

Jacob: What was that? Never mind. How 'bout you, Not all Marriages go Wrong?

*Jin and Sun start yelling at each other in Korean before smiling and finally turning to Jacob*

Sun: We would bring our spouse.

Jacob: hmm, Dudes?

*Sayid starts talking to Hurley while Hurley stares off into space*

Sayid: We've agreed to bring a helicopter.

Jacob: *nods* Baby Lovers?

Charlie: *sighs* My guitar!

Claire: No!! My BeehhyyBeehhyy!

Charlie: Bollocks!

*They talk in whispers*

Charlie: We'd bring a delivery nurse.

Jacob: Ok. Union of the Deceased or Love of Siblings?

*Boone and Shannon start to scream at each other before calming down*

Boone: We'd bring water.

All: *looks surprised*

Kate: You two thought of this?

Boone: *looks confused*. Yes.

All: *shrugs*

Jacob: Ok, now that everyone's answered the questions, I'm going to rank the top three. In third with 10 points are the Criminals.

Kate and Sawyer: That's right!

Jacob: In second place with 30 points are The Doctor's Union.

Jack: *nods*

Juliet: Woo Hooo!! Oh yeah!!!! Take that you losers!!

All: *stares in fear*

Juliet: what?

Jacob: I think Juliet's already having a mental breakdown. Anyways, in first place with 50 points are the Dudes!!

Hurley: Yeah dude! *slaps Sayid's hand*

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I hope you liked it! Feel free to give me ideas for questions, tasks, and who you want to be out in the next round. Reviews are an author's best friend!


	2. Round One: Part Two

I'm back everyone!! And with me I bring the second chapter of KaBloink: Lost Edition! So I hope you like it!

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Jacob: OK, in the second part of the round, I'm going to ask three simple questions to each team. They'll receive 20 points for each correct answer they give. Doctor's Union, you're first. First question, What were Shannon's last words?

Jack: How should we know?

Jacob: Just answer the question!

Jack: Umm, Boone!?

Jacob: No. Second question: Who was the fugitive on the plane?

Jack and Juliet: *smirk*

Jack: That's' an easy one, it's-

Kate: *glares at Jack*

Jack (is oblivious): Kate.

Kate: Jack!!

Jack: Oh, sorry.

Jacob: That's right. 20 points to you. Last question, What is the name of Claire's baby?

Jack: umm,

Claire: Jack!

Jack: sorry, I just get really stressed out on the island. *starts to cry**Wipes tears* Juliet, do you know?

Juliet: no.

Jack: umm, Beh Bey?

Kate (aghast): Jack! You helped take care of him for almost three years!

Claire: It's Aaron! His name is Aaron you douche bag!!

Jacob: uhh, right. That's incorrect. Doctor's Union, you have a total of 50 points. Next are the Criminals. First question, what is the name of Ben's daughter?

Sawyer: You mean Sheena?

Kate: *rolls eyes* Alex.

Ben: *sobs* Why Jacob? Why would you let Alex die? Why? Alex!!!

Jacob: correct. Sorry Ben, but that's the way it had to be. Plus I don't care about you. Next question, In what episode does Locke kill his first boar?

Sawyer: uhh

Kate: Walkabout.

Jacob: That's correct! Last Question, who kills Goodwin?

Sawyer: Who the hell's Goodwin?

Kate: I don't know.

Jacob: That's incorrect. I don't know is not the answer. The criminals now have 50 points. Next, we have the Worshippers of Jacob. First question, what is the name of the man in black?

All: . . .

Hurley: Uhhhh, Dude, he never said his name.

Jacob: Being my worshippers, they should know everything about me. So come on, Locke, Ben.

Ben: Uh, well you see, I may have seemed like I knew everything early on, but really I know nothing.

Locke: Yeah and I was just a stupid pawn.

Jacob: Answer the question, my pawns.

Ben: Lucifer?

Jacob: Well uhh, actually, I don't really know myself at the moment so you can just have ten points for that one. Next question. What is Hurley's real name?

Locke: Hugo.

Hurley: Aww, man.

Jacob: Correct. Final question. How many people has Ben killed?

Ben: *Starts counting his fingers* uhh, 367?

Jacob: . . . No. So that leaves the Worshippers of Jacob with 30 points. Next up is Not all Marriages go Wrong. First question, Name the first 50 American Presidents.

Jin: *Korean*

Sun: We're from Korea, not America. How are we supposed to know that?

Jacob: Sorry, luck of the draw.

Sun: uh, Hideki Tojo?

Jacob: No. Next question. Name the 50 United States.

Sun: *Glares* not fair

Jin (singing): Alabama, Alaska, Arizona, Arkansas, California, Colorado, Connecticut, Delaware, Florida, Georgia, Hawaii, Idaho, Illinois, Indiana, Iowa, Kansas, Kentucky, Louisiana, Maine, Maryland, Massachusetts, Michigan, Minnesota, Mississippi, Missouri, Montana, Nebraska, Nevada, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New Mexico, New York, North Carolina, North Dakota, Ohio, Oklahoma, Oregon, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island, South Carolina, South Dakota, Tennessee, Texas, Utah, Vermont, Virginia, Washington, West Virginia, Wisconsin, Wyoming. North, South, East, West, in our calm, objective opinion, Korea is the best of the Fifty nifty United States from thirteen original colonies. Shout 'em scout 'em, tell all about 'em. One by one 'till we've given a day to every state, in the good old U. S. A.

All: . . .

Jacob: Wow. Very impressive Jin. That is correct. Here's your last question. What are the first ten amendments in the United Sates constitution?

Sun: How come everyone else gets questions about Lost and we get questions about America? That's not fair!

Jin: * nods his head vigorously*

Sun: I don't know.

Jacob: Sorry Sun, that's incorrect. You have 20 points. I forgot to mention that the first place team from the first part of each round gets a free pass to the next round, so Dudes, you guys can just sit tight. Next is Baby Lovers. What are the negative effects of heroine?

Jack: Well-

Juliet: Shh, Jack. He's not talking to you.

Charlie: hmm? Heroine? Negative? What are you talking about?

Claire: It makes Charlie eat my behbey!

Jacob: Ahh, sorry. Not quite. Next. Who takes care of Aaron when he's left behind in the jungle?

Claire: *sobs* I'm sorry! Not even I know why I just left him there!

Charlie: How should I bloody know? I was dead!

Jacob: I'll take that as a wrong answer. Final question. Who did the freighter not belong to at the end of season three?

Charlie: *jumping up with hand raised* I know this, I know this! It's Penny! Not Penny's boat!

Jacob: Correct! Well done Charlie. The Baby Lovers now have 20 points. Next up are the Union of the Deceased or Love of Siblings. Here's your first question. Who is Shannon's greatest love?

Shannon: Say-

Boone: *shouting* Boone!!

Jacob: Wrong. The answer is Sayid, not Boone.

Shannon: *pouts* I was about to say that.

Jacob: Anyways, "How Much Land Does a Man Need?"

Shannon: Well I need about 25 acres. Boone only needs like ten.

Jacob: Sorry Shannon, the answer is actually six feet, which holds true for both members of this team.

Boone: huh?

Sawyer: That's how much land it takes to dig a grave, pretty boy.

Jacob: *nods* Sawyer is right. Anyways, last question of this round. What does everyone in this room have in common?

Shannon: Why would I need to know that?

Boone: Because you do Shannon, jeez. I know this one. We are all of the human species.

Ben: *coughs*

Jacob: Sorry Boone, but that was not the answer we were looking for. That ends this section of round one with The Union of the Deceased or Love of Sibling in last place with 0 points, The Baby Lovers and Not all Marriages go Wrong with 20 points each, The Worshippers of Jacob with 30 points, The Criminals and the Doctors Union with 50 points, and The Dudes with a free pass into Round 2.

Hurley: Awesome, dude!

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There you are! Please R & R


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